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RE: My dad wants me to marry another christian
September 17, 2017 at 2:13 pm
Validate the want of your dad; and ignore it if it's wrong.
I learned that as I grew up; actually I even experienced wrong parental advice.
At the end; the suffering is yours, and the pain is yours. Talk is cheap, even if a mother or a father gave with ultimate care. My mother gave me an advice to study "Business" in college; I ignored her advice and went for Computer Science. Never was I happier for my choice later on.
With all respect and love to my mother.
Marriage is even more dangerous than majors and future career, imagine marrying the wrong pick and having children with him. Your kids will suffer a lot, not just the kids; even you later on.
You can ignore what they say. But seek the choice you know you won't regret, the one person you are sure about. You'll know.
You owe it to yourself.
I always tell others what I keep telling myself: when you sleep at night; you are left with the consequences of your actions. Your parents will not feel what you feel; you might be precious to them, but not as precious as you are to yourself.
As for orgasms and sex; it's fine. Some of us are so late, and they will begin very late in life; so believe me, it should be one of the last things you think about. For now; focus on what makes you happy and what would make a kid pray at night while smiling: "Thanks God for this family!"
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RE: My dad wants me to marry another christian
September 18, 2017 at 4:03 am
Quote:My dad wants me to marry another christian
Why? What happened to the first one! 
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: My dad wants me to marry another christian
September 18, 2017 at 4:42 am
(September 17, 2017 at 12:51 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: (September 16, 2017 at 2:23 pm)Mathilda Wrote: Nothing works whatsoever. Any tactile sensation more than a normal touch just feels uncomfortable.
I'm sorry.... :/
Careful you don't rub her the wrong way. 
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RE: My dad wants me to marry another christian
September 18, 2017 at 5:06 am
Whatev, that joke was such an anticlimax....
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: My dad wants me to marry another christian
September 19, 2017 at 8:59 am
(September 17, 2017 at 10:45 am)Catholic_Lady Wrote: (September 17, 2017 at 5:05 am)Die Atheistin Wrote: There is a difference between romantic and sexual attraction. You can be sexually attracted to someone and not romantically or vice-versa.
So are you only sexually attracted, but not romantically attracted?
I felt sexual attraction on some occasions (just to be clear, I never had sex with anyone, just felt the need to). I said that I either had no crush, or my crushes weren't "serious". Sometimes I've had fantasies about dating certain people without sexual intercouse. However, these fantasies would come and go rapidly and I wasn't really invested in them in the first place. I was a teenager at that time, so I'm pretty sure that my hormones were playing with me. I don't know if what I've experienced could be considered romantic love or not, but I'm certain it was close, and I can't say that I dislike the idea of dating someone, so I doubt I'm aromantic.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in God, in none"
Charlie Chaplin
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RE: My dad wants me to marry another christian
September 19, 2017 at 12:20 pm
(September 19, 2017 at 8:59 am)Die Atheistin Wrote: (September 17, 2017 at 10:45 am)Catholic_Lady Wrote: So are you only sexually attracted, but not romantically attracted?
I felt sexual attraction on some occasions (just to be clear, I never had sex with anyone, just felt the need to). I said that I either had no crush, or my crushes weren't "serious". Sometimes I've had fantasies about dating certain people without sexual intercouse. However, these fantasies would come and go rapidly and I wasn't really invested in them in the first place. I was a teenager at that time, so I'm pretty sure that my hormones were playing with me. I don't know if what I've experienced could be considered romantic love or not, but I'm certain it was close, and I can't say that I dislike the idea of dating someone, so I doubt I'm aromantic.
Ah I see. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Nonetheless, it seems very odd that you're feeling any sort of confusion about this, especially since you are a grown adult and no longer a kid/teenager. I mean, I remember my first crush when I was 4 years old... and there was never a single question in my mind of what I was feeling or that I was heterosexual. So it's hard for me to imagine another person being so unsure of their sexuality. If I had to guess, I would say I still do think there is some level of asexuality at play here. Might be something for you to look into and learn more about.
As for your father, I would put it out of my mind for now. Since you're not even dating anyone at the moment (and never have), it seems like what he said to you isn't relevant to your life as of now. My advice is for you to let that go for now and just focus on trying to figure yourself out first. When you are dating someone and things get serious, then you should think about having a talk with your father about it. If he is a good parent he will love you and be there for you regardless of who you are with. It may be a hard pill for him to swallow at first if you aren't with someone he'd prefer you to be with, but if he loves you he will get over it in time.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
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RE: My dad wants me to marry another christian
September 20, 2017 at 10:59 am
(This post was last modified: September 20, 2017 at 11:06 am by Der/die AtheistIn.)
(September 19, 2017 at 12:20 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: (September 19, 2017 at 8:59 am)Die Atheistin Wrote: I felt sexual attraction on some occasions (just to be clear, I never had sex with anyone, just felt the need to). I said that I either had no crush, or my crushes weren't "serious". Sometimes I've had fantasies about dating certain people without sexual intercouse. However, these fantasies would come and go rapidly and I wasn't really invested in them in the first place. I was a teenager at that time, so I'm pretty sure that my hormones were playing with me. I don't know if what I've experienced could be considered romantic love or not, but I'm certain it was close, and I can't say that I dislike the idea of dating someone, so I doubt I'm aromantic.
Ah I see. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Nonetheless, it seems very odd that you're feeling any sort of confusion about this, especially since you are a grown adult and no longer a kid/teenager. I mean, I remember my first crush when I was 4 years old... and there was never a single question in my mind of what I was feeling or that I was heterosexual. So it's hard for me to imagine another person being so unsure of their sexuality. If I had to guess, I would say I still do think there is some level of asexuality at play here. Might be something for you to look into and learn more about.
As for your father, I would put it out of my mind for now. Since you're not even dating anyone at the moment (and never have), it seems like what he said to you isn't relevant to your life as of now. My advice is for you to let that go for now and just focus on trying to figure yourself out first. When you are dating someone and things get serious, then you should think about having a talk with your father about it. If he is a good parent he will love you and be there for you regardless of who you are with. It may be a hard pill for him to swallow at first if you aren't with someone he'd prefer you to be with, but if he loves you he will get over it in time.
No need to apologize.
(September 20, 2017 at 10:59 am)Die Atheistin Wrote: (September 19, 2017 at 12:20 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: Ah I see. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Nonetheless, it seems very odd that you're feeling any sort of confusion about this, especially since you are a grown adult and no longer a kid/teenager. I mean, I remember my first crush when I was 4 years old... and there was never a single question in my mind of what I was feeling or that I was heterosexual. So it's hard for me to imagine another person being so unsure of their sexuality. If I had to guess, I would say I still do think there is some level of asexuality at play here. Might be something for you to look into and learn more about.
As for your father, I would put it out of my mind for now. Since you're not even dating anyone at the moment (and never have), it seems like what he said to you isn't relevant to your life as of now. My advice is for you to let that go for now and just focus on trying to figure yourself out first. When you are dating someone and things get serious, then you should think about having a talk with your father about it. If he is a good parent he will love you and be there for you regardless of who you are with. It may be a hard pill for him to swallow at first if you aren't with someone he'd prefer you to be with, but if he loves you he will get over it in time.
No need to apologize. Also, I'm only 18 and I'm in the last year of highschool, so I'm only in my first year of adulthood. And while I'm a bit confused about my sexuality, I can't say I suffer because of it.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in God, in none"
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RE: My dad wants me to marry another christian
September 20, 2017 at 12:25 pm
(September 19, 2017 at 12:20 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: (September 19, 2017 at 8:59 am)Die Atheistin Wrote: I felt sexual attraction on some occasions (just to be clear, I never had sex with anyone, just felt the need to). I said that I either had no crush, or my crushes weren't "serious". Sometimes I've had fantasies about dating certain people without sexual intercouse. However, these fantasies would come and go rapidly and I wasn't really invested in them in the first place. I was a teenager at that time, so I'm pretty sure that my hormones were playing with me. I don't know if what I've experienced could be considered romantic love or not, but I'm certain it was close, and I can't say that I dislike the idea of dating someone, so I doubt I'm aromantic.
Ah I see. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Nonetheless, it seems very odd that you're feeling any sort of confusion about this, especially since you are a grown adult and no longer a kid/teenager. I mean, I remember my first crush when I was 4 years old... and there was never a single question in my mind of what I was feeling or that I was heterosexual. So it's hard for me to imagine another person being so unsure of their sexuality. If I had to guess, I would say I still do think there is some level of asexuality at play here. Might be something for you to look into and learn more about.
As for your father, I would put it out of my mind for now. Since you're not even dating anyone at the moment (and never have), it seems like what he said to you isn't relevant to your life as of now. My advice is for you to let that go for now and just focus on trying to figure yourself out first. When you are dating someone and things get serious, then you should think about having a talk with your father about it. If he is a good parent he will love you and be there for you regardless of who you are with. It may be a hard pill for him to swallow at first if you aren't with someone he'd prefer you to be with, but if he loves you he will get over it in time.
I think right here (my bolded) is where you have to decide how far you can reasonably go in assuming everyone is constituted the way you are or experience the world/themselves as you do. When I was young, I made that assumption a lot. But soon enough had to acknowledge that others can be other, that they weren't just misunderstanding themselves or making some other mistake.
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RE: My dad wants me to marry another christian
September 20, 2017 at 3:27 pm
(September 20, 2017 at 10:59 am)Die Atheistin Wrote: (September 19, 2017 at 12:20 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: Ah I see. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Nonetheless, it seems very odd that you're feeling any sort of confusion about this, especially since you are a grown adult and no longer a kid/teenager. I mean, I remember my first crush when I was 4 years old... and there was never a single question in my mind of what I was feeling or that I was heterosexual. So it's hard for me to imagine another person being so unsure of their sexuality. If I had to guess, I would say I still do think there is some level of asexuality at play here. Might be something for you to look into and learn more about.
As for your father, I would put it out of my mind for now. Since you're not even dating anyone at the moment (and never have), it seems like what he said to you isn't relevant to your life as of now. My advice is for you to let that go for now and just focus on trying to figure yourself out first. When you are dating someone and things get serious, then you should think about having a talk with your father about it. If he is a good parent he will love you and be there for you regardless of who you are with. It may be a hard pill for him to swallow at first if you aren't with someone he'd prefer you to be with, but if he loves you he will get over it in time.
No need to apologize.
(September 20, 2017 at 10:59 am)Die Atheistin Wrote: No need to apologize. Also, I'm only 18 and I'm in the last year of highschool, so I'm only in my first year of adulthood. And while I'm a bit confused about my sexuality, I can't say I suffer because of it.
Fair enough. When you said "when I was a teenager" I assumed that meant you were already in your 20's or more. Good luck!
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
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RE: My dad wants me to marry another christian
September 21, 2017 at 10:45 pm
(September 19, 2017 at 8:59 am)Die Atheistin Wrote:
Quote:I felt sexual attraction on some occasions (just to be clear, I never had sex with anyone, just felt the need to). I said that I either had no crush, or my crushes weren't "serious". Sometimes I've had fantasies about dating certain people without sexual intercourse. However, these fantasies would come and go rapidly and I wasn't really invested in them in the first place. I was a teenager at that time, so I'm pretty sure that my hormones were playing with me. I don't know if what I've experienced could be considered romantic love or not, but I'm certain it was close, and I can't say that I dislike the idea of dating someone, so I doubt I'm aromatic. It sounds like you need a vibrating dildo to condition your body for sexual intercourse. Can you get one where you live?
And if your father won't slice and dice you for being an independent person tell him that he married who he wanted to and that you will do the same thing when you get good and damn ready. Chances are he will be dead and long gone and you will be stuck with the consequences of the ill-suited decisions he forced you into making. In other words, tell him to keep his trap shut about your love life. It's yours, not his.
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