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Tonus · February 2, 2015 at 4:58 pm

(February 2, 2015 at 2:42 pm)Esquilax Wrote: I don't think I've ever seen stronger relationships than I have among people who tie, spank, and all manner of other things, with each other.

Yeah, I spank with myself pretty often and I've never been happier! Naughty

**Minimalist** · (This post was last modified: February 2, 2015 at 7:42 pm by Minimalist.)

At the risk of giving Summer a full-blown asthma attack, my favorite Jewish sex joke.

Quote: The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for 2,000 rubles, or one from Minsk for 1,000 rubles. Being frugal, they bought the cow from Minsk. The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy.

They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again. They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the rabbi, who was very wise, what to do.

They told the rabbi what was happening. "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side."

The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow from Minsk?" The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow. "You are truly a wise rabbi," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Minsk?"

The rabbi answered sadly, "My wife is from Minsk."

**thesummerqueen** · February 2, 2015 at 7:46 pm

I made sure to swallow what was in my mouth and not be drinking anything before I read it.

[claps]

Nope · (This post was last modified: February 2, 2015 at 7:57 pm by Nope.)

Godschild, what could you possibly learn in the Song of Solomon? Like SummersQueen I read the book and was decidedly meh about it. There are some metaphors for oral sex but it isn't like the book teaches anyone how to do anything. Sorry. I like my porn raunchy and explicit

Solomon had hundreds of wives and concubines so if he was a better lover it might be because of experience. Perhaps the meaning behind the biblical poem is that people should not be in monogamous relationships.

**thesummerqueen** · February 2, 2015 at 7:55 pm

^In other words: Practical.

AFTT47 · February 2, 2015 at 8:12 pm

(February 2, 2015 at 7:54 pm)Nope Wrote: Solomon had hundreds of wives and concubines so if he was a better lover it might be because of experience. Perhaps the meaning behind the biblical poem is that people should not be in monogamous relationships.

Party!!!

JesusHChrist · February 2, 2015 at 8:34 pm

(February 2, 2015 at 1:23 am)Godschild Wrote: I see you've never read the Songs of Solomon, your partner might like it if you did.

GC

Didn't read it, but I did rent "The Schlong of Solomon" on DVD once. Double feature with "Saving Ryan's Privates". Not too into the whole Yiddish porn scene. Too much hair.

And the hats! Oy vey! Take off the goddamn hats!

**Minimalist** · February 2, 2015 at 8:50 pm

You're right about the hats.

[Image: 46868_126366357410411_116825995031114_14...7253_n.jpg]

JesusHChrist · February 2, 2015 at 8:52 pm

Exactly.

A clip straight out of the movie....

**Minimalist** · February 2, 2015 at 8:54 pm

I wonder how you say "nice tits" in yiddish?

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